How Laura and I ended up with the coolest nicknames ever

Tess: ive decided to embrace my nickname (poopers). under the condition that you embrace one i come up with for you. i'm considering pooter squats... what do you think?

laura: lol

laura: rad. ryan suggests tooter squats.

Tess: ok. its settled.

laura: man, I'm excited to finally have an awesome nick name. well I guess toonstie pants is okay but hardly anyone calls me that. bottoo's friends used to call me Spectrum because he refused to tell them my real name. That's probably the only real cool name I've ever had. until now.

laura: if you find it too cumbersome sometimes you can just call me tooter or T Squats, respectively.

Tess: lol, i'm glad you're so excited. i'll try to work up some enthusiasm for my nickname too. maybe i can get pumped about it after all. tooter squats is pretty cool i have to say. and they sound awesome together too, like, "oh hey! it's poopers and tooter!"

Tess: t squats as a nice ring to it as well.

laura: hmm. well, I suppose it would be fair of me to offer you the chance to make up your own nickname if you don't end up warming to poopers. I think it's just great though. but I guess that goes without saying. And it's definitely got quite the ring when paired with a classy name like tooter. I'm lolling just thinking about it. Sounds like a pair of crime fighters. or perhaps more accurately, pudgy flatulant people with irritable bowels. but you know. same difference.

Tess: no, no, a person can't make up their own nickname. that isnt right. i'm just gonna have to warm up to poopers. i think iam a little already. and like you say, it's too late now even if i wanted to change it, because another name simply wouldn't work out with t squats. tim points out t squats makes you sound like a rapper. awesome. i'm a little bit jealous of your name. maybe mine needs a little sprucing up? like what about a last name? that's not changing it, just adding to it. what can you come up with?

laura: Hmm. Poopers Leflare? poopers baggins, poopers 'O Riley

Tess: gosh, what a dilimma. i just don't know. i also called myself poopers McGrue on your blog just now. It seems we have a difficult choice to make.

laura: poopers Hoss, Ice, JJ Poopers, Mac Poopers, Nappers, Norton Poopers, Orlando Poopers... it's true. I'm glad I'm not burdened with such a choice.

Tess: Mac Poopers cracks me up the most out of that last batch.
Tess: Tim advises that we don't make any quick decisons we might come to regret.

laura: ohh. that's a good idea. there are so many good options. I like the female route too...foxy poopers adds quite a sexy flair.
Tess: Poopers McSteamy. Poopers McFly.

laura: Oh, those are both good ones. What if we played with verb last names like you gave me? like...poopers Delight, Drip, Clap..hmm. oh diddy and daddy are pretty brilliant.

Tess: These last couple because it would be cool if my name could sound gangsta.

laura: you could always go more hardcore like Tap as a last name. well I don't know if that's more hardcore actually, since I'm not as into rap.
laura: P Tap sounds like a badass though.

Tess: lol... p tap does have a really nice ring.

Tess: but said fully, poopers tap, is that as good?
laura: yeah, I dunno. well, I think there are at least 10 great options that we've come up with and it should just be a matter of deciding now.

Tess: 2ply poopers

laura: lol

laura: that's a definite contender

Tess: Pooper, aka 2ply

laura: I don't know...can that be beat? I can't think so. what does tim think?

Tess: lol... he came up with it. while i was pooping no less. then got to excited he had to take over my skype and type it to you right then and there.

Tess: excuse me, so excited i meant.

laura: haha rad. it's pretty brilliant

Tess: i think there's a certain eerie quality to the fact that it was thought up WHILE i was pooping.

laura: eerie? or fateful?

Tess: both?

laura: I think so

laura: well , it's settled. in my mind at least.

Tess: ok. so, now we just have logistics to deal with.

Tess: is it 2ply poopers, or is it only poopers (like cher) but poopers aka 2ply?

laura: I kinda like the aka thing but the down side to that is that you'll likely just get called one or the other as time goes on. sometimes 2ply, sometimes poopers, but rarely poopers aka 2ply. we could just see how it evolves I suppose.

Tess: hmm. you bring up some good points to consider.

Tess: i guess as long as it was always one or the other it would be ok. i dont think i could bear it if it were to become only 2ply or only poopers, what if one of them was forgotten with time?

Tess: if we can be assured that's an impossibility, then i think it's settled, poopers aka 2ply.


  1. ah, yes. Poopers aka 2ply. I've got this feeling like our lives will be forever changed from this point on. Like we were living in the shadows before, but we're living in the..uhh..not shadows. Crap, I'm sitting in a dark room. Well, clearly it's just a metaphor.

  2. Can I just call you guys Tess and Laura? My mind is going. No way I'll remember all these nicknames and aka's.

  3. My mind is going as well so I will continue to call you guys Tess and Laura respectively.

  4. Mama and Sammy, what would you say if you were offered the opportunity to just call us Tooter and 2Ply? That's simpler, right?

  5. wait a minute. It seems almost as if people don't think these names are epic. But that can't be true because they are obviously so epic that they make any previous attempts at epicness look totally lame. No. I just won't accept it.


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