First Time - Updated

Must update this post to say that Tim is not in fact the author of this poem. It was a false alarm. Turns out he just copied a poem down, but he was convinced it was his, because he doesn't know why else he would bother copying it down and also he had a couple things crossed out and rewritten. False alarm. Thanks Sammy for saving us from a life of lies.

Tim has been going through boxes of old stuff and found a poem he wrote years ago. I think it's very touching.

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone
Just her and I
Her hair so soft
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so smooth
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hand on her chest
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
How slowly she spread
Her legs apart
When she did
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
Milking a cow


  1. For some reason this reminds me of that poem you wrote a long time ago with the "plop". But I don't think that one was as subtle...

  2. Funny. I was quite relieved at the ending.

  3. lol good fakeout there at the beginning saying that it was really sweet. I was very relieved at the ending as well.

  4. I'm not convinced that Tim was the original author of this poem. I have definitely read it before.

  5. I also believe you missed a line. It reads:

    Her hair so soft
    I knew just what.

    It should say:

    Her hair so soft
    Her eyes so blue
    I knew just what

    As well as the line:
    I started by placing my hand on her chest
    was instead
    I started by placing my hand on her breast

  6. Also after looking through your new tabs (they are awesome) I've decided to suggest and alternative picture to the one you have posted already. I believe that in your pictures to remember tab there is a lovely cow with fantastic utters....

  7. Tim said he was also relieved when he got to the end. He didn't remember writing it. This is for a good reason, see below...

    Sammy, haha! That's awesome. Tim was convinced he wrote it because he found it written on a scrap of paper and he had crossed out breast and written chest so it looked all authentic. But, he didn't remember writing it. That first line you wrote that he missed makes me laugh because I had told him, this isn't right, something is missing or else get rid of it, it doesn't fit. Now it sounds right. Hm. I guess I'll have to update the beginning of this blog now so people don't think we're big fat plagiarizers.

  8. Yeah, after I got past wondering why Tim was sharing his poem about his first sexual experience with everyone (and being concerned for Tess), I thought the poem started to sound suspiciously familiar. I was thinking, "I've read almost this exact poem before." But then I wrote it off to thinking people often think they are a lot more creative than they really are because there are so many other people out there in the world coming up with similar ideas... :) Glad that theory wasn't supported!


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