The Neer Neer Video Epidemic

The Neer Neer music video has been spread over the internet to households all over the world. Shortly after exposure individuals exhibit signs of addiction such as singing the song to themselves, or being unable to stop themselves from watching the video repeatedly.
It seems that it is so highly addictive because this "drug" is carried to the brain so swiftly, and addiction can occur in less than one minute. However, after the initial "high" is over, the individual is left feeling depressed. They must watch the video again immediately, and at a higher volume and in a larger size to obtain the same high. Users begin to perform the dance moves in the video immediately, until they become dangerously thin. The video causes users to become confused and irritable:



This wreaks havoc on their personal and professional lives. Reports in the news of individuals losing their jobs over The Neer Neer song are rampant. Marriages are being broken up and health is being put at risk due to failure to eat or sleep. People are devising ways to remix the video at home, "freebasing" if you will, in attempts to create a more potent version as they become resistant to the song. These people will surely fail, because it is thought that there cannot be a more potent version. Instead, unclean versions of the song are sold to the public, causing even more side effects, and making matters even worse. Individuals have been destroying their computers, attempting to melt them down and smoke them.

The origins of this video are under investigation. It is suspected that several technology savvy terrorist groups were involved. Not only disadvantaged youth are at risk here, but any person with an intact set of eyes or ears. The government is rushing to construct a plan to save our nation. Scientists are working around the clock to create a vaccine. In the mean while, it is recommended to buy a good set of ear plugs, and to wear eye patches at all times, although, if you are reading this, it is likely that you have already been exposed. Do not panic. Instead, please unplug your computer immediately and do not leave your house until contacted by the authorities.

Comments

  1. OMG! I'm panicked. We're all gonna die! The terrorists are here! I knew there was something strange about the video...but I never guessed I'd become addicted. I've watched it...maybe 200 times already. I'm dancing myself sick! This is bad. Very, very bad. Call 9-1...1.......

    ReplyDelete
  2. By the love of GOD why did you include a link to the video?? I've watched it over 30 times due to this post alone!! No time to write more. I've gotta go watch something...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've discovered the antidote. I will sell it for... $1 meeelion dollars.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Eric, call the white house immediately, they'll take your deal I'm certain of it.

    Laura, the terrorists must have gotten to this blog and included the link because I would never endanger my fan base that way. I'm removing it right now, but I'm sure they'll put it right back.

    Mom, you must be up to 2,000 times by now and be exhausted, confused, irritable and trying to remix the video frantically. Don't panic though, Eric has the antidote. Help is on the way.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank the gods for Eric. I at least have hope now. My feet hurt, and that music... it's driving me insane!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't see what the panic is about. I just like to get my unitard on and enjoy the video over and over again. Its fantastic! I wonder if I should eat something. I haven't done anything but toe touches and jumping jack since the release. Why am I so shaky?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment