Oct 30, 2008

Missin' Cat

Missin' Cat

Name: George Clooney, but answers t'Geo'gie Wo'gy Poo

DOB: Th' day mah soul awakened

Weight: I'll thank yo' not t'pry into his persnol affairs. So, he likes his tuna, big whoop.
Height: Tall, ah reckon. As in tall dark an' hansum.

Date Last See: Right befo'e Days of Our Lives on 10/30/2008.

Place Last See: On mah Lazy Fella recliner

Extry Clues: ah keep hearin' a faint meowin' behind me. ah reckon he is close by.

Reward: $5,000. C'd yo' hold mah check until mah home equity loan comes through?

Oct 29, 2008

An Amazing Wife

Since last Monday Tim has been working like crazy trying to stay ahead of schedule on a job he has. Before last night when finally he got 8 hours, he went about 60 hours with only a 4 hour nap in between. His guys were tired too, but getting more sleep than him. He brought them home with him for a late afternoon nap one day, since they live a lot further from the job than him, and when I got home from work they were all just about ready to get up. I thought I'd cook them a nice meal to get them through the next shift. I had to do it quickly since they needed to get going. Also, I suck at cooking and really don't know how. The two employees were too polite to laugh, but Tim and I were laughing periodically throughout the dinner, me to the point where I was crying, and I kept joking about what an AMAZING wife I am. I had to snap a few pictures of the feast. The sheer quantity of mac and cheese was Tim's fault. I was gonna make just three boxes and call it a meal, but Tim felt strongly that I needed to make as many boxes as would fit in the pot, so four it was. Except once the noodles were cooked there wasn't any space left for stirring, so I had to heap it all into a huge bowl. I should've thought to take pics when the bowl was full, but you can imagine.
Then, Tim felt like we needed to offer a balanced meal, and thus needed something to go with the mac and cheese. He thought baked beans were the way to go. I wasn't quite sure baked beans really went with mac and cheese, I mean, you have to serve them in two bowls per person if you want to eat them separately. Plus, they just seem kind of like a gross combo, but Tim and Trae started mixing them together and claimed it was delicious.
I must be wrong that they are strange together though, or perhaps it is just a coincidence, but I happened to see a woman in the break room at work preparing a meal of baked beans with mac and cheese today! The funniest though was when I got out this chicken I'd made a few nights before. It was good, but it was in a tupperware with butter and lemon juice. I don't have the skills to thicken that into an actual sauce. So I served what appeared to be chicken breasts in urine. Mmm. We ended up with way too much food. Half as much would've done the job.
You'd think with Tim working until after I've gone to bed that I would have plenty of time for blogging, wouldn't you? I realized I've really been slacking off though. Partly I blame Halloween. The logistics of creating a perfect huge butt with a crack and a cat wedged in there are trickier than I anticipated. I think I've finally got it nailed down though. I'm planning to post a little treat for you tomorrow, sort of a sneak preview.

Oct 25, 2008

Time to quit my day job

I finally got around to carving 2/4 of the pumpkins I got for Halloween this year. I used the pattern that came in the carving kit for the cat, and I drew the haunted house one on using a picture off of the internet. Which explains why you can't quite tell what it is, maybe you'll be able to tell now that I've told you though.

I also took a little trip down the the Deseret Industries where I picked up a few things for my costume this year, which is going to be something along the lines of this:
Except it is going to be a lost cat, and I'm going to be a crazy cat lady. I'm going to carry fliers around at work all day and post them all around the building. I'm really going for first place in the costume contest this year, not measly second place like last year. Keep your fingers crossed for me, 8 hours of PTO, here I come! Oops. I guess I probably jinxed myself. Damn you cocky attitude!! Damn you!!

Oct 24, 2008

Laser Crack

On an impulse Tim got a keychain laser pointer for a few dollars a while ago. I scoffed, thinking it was a useless purchase that he'd never use. I never guessed how wrong I was. This little trinket has brought hours of pure bliss to the children. Upon seeing it their eyes light up and they start barking, whining, leaping around in joy and excitedly running around looking for the laser point. They have managed to put it together that the laser point's origin is the little keychain, but it hasn't dampened their love for chasing after the beam. I have never seen them tire of this, I always get tired of it first. It is especially fun to point it at a guest's foot and watch the dogs leap onto the unsuspecting limb. Here is a little sample of their antics with the laser, I'll warn you right now that the second half of this video is boring. I was trying to get the dogs to see the beam on each other, but they kept looking other places and I couldn't get them to leap on each other.

Oct 22, 2008

Fall Stroll up Neff's Canyon

We hiked to the meadow up Neffs Canyon over the weekend. The lower half of the canyon still had fall colors, but the upper half had snow on the ground and most of the leaves had fallen. I said, "Grrrr...", but the leaves and ice stubbornly remained on the ground.

Look how crooked the trees here look. I swear they aren't.. interesting camera angle though, Tim really wanted us to think about this deeply.
Here are the pups looking cute as always. Click on this one for a treat, I didn't know it until I looked at the picture just now, but Howard had his floppy lip all sucked up into his mouth in surprise in this picture.
This pic doesn't offer a great view, but I'm posting it just because of the expression on Tim's face. I cracked up when I saw it, he did not reveal to me that he had made such a face, so it was a delightful surprise. It was even a delightful surprise to Tim, he claims not to remember doing it.
Here Tim is in the meadow looking more serious. Quite serious in fact, with his hand propped on his hip that way you can tell he means business. I like the rock formations behind him.

Oct 21, 2008

As Fity Cent Says, "It's my Burfday"

I got some good stuff for my birthday this year. Your eyes are not deceiving you, these cowgirl boot slippers that my mom got me are actually pink with camo pattern and rhinestones. I don't think they could get any more awesome. An amazing design feat. My mom also got me this pink John Deere hoodie, which fits perfectly and I might not ever take off. I'm even going to wear it at work, if they wanted me to be professional they wouldn't keep my cube at an ideal temperature for ice sculpture storage.

Tim got me a wacom (pronounced whack-om, extra emphasis on the ack, Tim and I got quite a kick out of listening to it repeated often on the demo cd for this product) tablet. It is about the size of a mouse pad and I can draw on it with a stylus pen. The pad senses pressure and I can draw pretty accurately with it. It is easier to get motivated to draw if I can do it without having to get out all of my drawing supplies. I spent a big chuck of the weekend working on this war scene drawing that I had 2/3 completed in colored pencil. I keep redoing parts of it, so who knows how long it'll take me to get it done and posted here.

We did some fun things over the weekend to celebrate this joyous day a few days early, including seeing the world bodies exhibit at the library, and playing pool at my favorite pool hall, Fats. The exhibit was really cool, but very crowded, even though we went on a Sunday. Fat's food and smoke free environment was lovely as always, and I was able to take home victory over Tim for my birthday. Pool with him is always fun because we are evenly matched so you never know who might win.

In conclusion, I would like to say, why, hello 27, please do make yourself comfortable and stay for while. Like, a year maybe.

Oct 20, 2008

Awesome College Web Design

Every couple of years I remember these two websites that I made in college and somehow manage to figure out the urls cuz I never actually save the information anywhere. I'm surprised they're still up, it has been at least 6 years since I made these. The first one I actually made without a web design program, pure html. It is terrible looking and incredibly simple, but it took me forever to make. The second one still cracks me up. I can't remember what the assignment was, but I doubt most people took the opportunity to make a big joke of their site. I recall doing well in the class though, so the teacher must have liked it too.

Oct 16, 2008

Jr. High Writing Talent

One night a few minutes before bedtime when I was about 13 I rushed to the computer to type out a story I'd written for english class that was due the next day. To my dismay, the computer wasn't functioning. My mom was frustrated with me, perhaps because I waited until 10 or so to begin, so she got out her ancient typewriter and left me to write it on my own. I was a very slow typer at the time, but not to the worry, Seth (~18 years old at the time) to the rescue! He offered to help me type my story. He was probably a good typer on a regular keyboard, but what was produced on the typewriter had us laughing hysterically. The first typo occured in the very first line, which after he typed it read "As I sat in my black leather easy chair with my feet resting on my chest I smokes what i likec to call my shirelock holmes pipe." I happen to have it typed out correctly, and I'll paste it below, but I highly recommend reading the original instead. Although, in a few places the typing is so off that I'm not sure you'll be able to tell what is going on. The next day I brought it to school to be peer reviewed. The pencil marks are all from the poor kid who reviewed this.

A story from Jr. High that I re-wrote, it was inspired by Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes:
As I sat in my black leather easy chair with my feet resting on my desk I smoked what I like to call my Sherlock Holmes pipe. The lighting in my study was comfortably dim, and the thick smoke of my 44 mingled with the twisting tendrils of gray floating just above my person.
I had just nailed a Bluebird which was sitting on a tree in the moonlight. I felt satisfied, I felt confident, I may have had a rather large hole in my window, but shooting my 44 gave me a sense of manliness.
I'm a private eye. My idol is Sherlock Holmes, and though I have yet to solve a case I am a PI at heart, and thus never discouraged. I gazed out of the somewhat damaged window, wondering what case I would attempt to solve next. I heard a shrill scream coming from the apartment next door, where I often see large men wearing bulky trench coats coming and going. I pondered why it is that some people scream at every little thing. Probably one of them saw a spider.
I puffed some more at my pipe, working to form the exiting smoke into thick smoke rings. Maybe I wasn't a good detective. I mean, I never solved any of my cases. As I heard more screaming and another gunshot I cast the thought away. I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I just hadn't had the big break yet, I hadn't been intrigued. I kept hearing maniacal cackles and screams from next door. I briefly considered going next door and asking them to keep the volume down on their television, but decided that in lieu of throwing on a robe I would just relocate to the bedroom, where the sounds would be muffled. I lay on my bed and let my thoughts wander. I wondered when my next opportunity to solve a case would arise. I hoped it would be soon.. then I changed my mind, and decided that if it were soo...ZZZZZZ
I woke early the following morning and after struggling with the sheets for release, I threw on my plaid overcoat. I walked lazily through the kitchen and out of the apartment doors to fetch my paper.
I gasped at what a saw next. I began to choke. By gasping I had inhaled some pipe smoke, which I wasn't completely accustomed to doing. Outside there were two cars. One was a forest green Jeep, and the other was a light blue Taurus. There had been a terrible crash, and both were badly damaged. I squinted, the Jeep contained a body! I rushed to the Jeep, my overcoat flowing behind me and noticed that I was only wearing my Spiderman briefs. I briefly considered whether anyone else noticed, but was distracted by the sight of four deep depressions in the passenger window of the Jeep, through which I could see a young woman. She was dead. I wrenched open the door in panic and grabbed her hand. She screamed with astounding volume, and I realized that there had been a hole somewhere in my deduction that she had passed away. I asked her what had happened. She said that she was driving along, when suddenly, something fell out of the sky and hit the Taurus’s windshield. The guy in the Taurus thought that she had thrown it, and so he pulled out his gun and shot her windshield several times with rubber bullets. Then the man had escaped.
I mulled through the data. Hmm... fell out of the sky. I glared down the street hoping that I looked intense, and then glanced at the cute woman out of the corner of my eye and said gruffly, "It's a cruel world, but I'll find the man who did this to you!" Her arm was bruised from my frantic tugging moments before, so I gave her my handy first aid kit and told her to patch herself up. And then it dawned on me, hey, it was my Taurus. And the only person who could have been driving was.. my son. Well, well well, I would have to have a little talk with him. Although, I noted with frustration, I had told him several times before that he was not to shoot at people. Kids. Then I noticed the Blue Bird on the Taurus's wind-shield, oh my God, someone shot a poor defen.. hmm.. I had a thought. Was it possible that the bird I shot last night.. so THAT was where the Blue-Bird came from! I felt slightly less manly, having been the cause of the entire mess. But, then I decided that my self-esteem was just getting too low, I ought to have been congratulating myself on a case well solved. I took my car keys out of my pocket and got into the Taurus. I might as well go get some Wendy's.

Oct 15, 2008

Modeling Career

As you can see my career as a model is finally beginning. The graphic designer in my department needed a couple of people to model the company clothing line and asked Justin and I to do it. I did feel kind of special. Although the ad is just going to be displayed in the company's internal magazine I think. I'm just glad the items to model were a beanie and a blanket, because I don't think they have a line of children's clothing yet, and I don't fit into adult clothes.

Oct 14, 2008

Bad Weather? Let's Work in the Yard!

I haven't had very much exciting stuff to post about lately 'cuz we've been working on reseeding half of the back yard for the past two weekends, which were rainy/snowy. It wasn't incredibly pleasant working outside in that weather, but now that we've got a nice weekend coming and no work to do, we'll be reaping the benefits.

During the building of our second garage a good 2/3 of our apparently wussy lawn was trashed. Couldn't take the bulldozer traffic. That and when the foundation was poured somehow cement was splooged all about the back yard. I'm not sure how that happened, but the result was that turning the ground in preparation for seeding was not gonna happen without a tiller. Look at all the cement hunks the tiller churned up, there were like five wheelbarrows full like this.

Then, we had to rent a trencher to dig a trench for new sprinkler line around the new garage (Roger, to be specific).

The trencher was about twice the size of the tiller, but I forgot to get a picture of it. It even came from the rental shop on its own trailer. I didn't attempt to use it, I probably would have injured myself instead of just providing comic relief for Tim as I did when attempting to use the tiller and tilling in circles because I couldn't control it. I did do a lot of digging and raking though, I'm no wussy. That digging is quite a work out. I tried dragging the pallet around to level the yard some too, but it was more Tim's job.. since it was heavy.

Here is the area just about ready for seed.
To summarize, bam, two weekends gone. I can proudly say that we now are done though. Uh.. well, with that half. After it grows in we have to use it for the dogs and do the other half. Fortunately, the other half didn't get splattered with cement and is mostly covered with grass already. Who would've known seeding a yard would be such hard work! Well, maybe most people would've known. But, Tim is an optimist about how long projects will take, and I'm only slightly better. When Tim give me a time estimate for a project at work I know to at least double it.

Next on the list is resanding the kitchen floor, which, if you recall, still looks like the floor of an ancient log cabin that burned down. But, we're taking this weekend off. This weekend we have strict plans to not do any work at all. It is going to be amazing, and it is supposed to be good weather. I can hardly wait!

Oct 10, 2008

Tip: Get Rid of Belly Fat with a Mary Kay Makeover

Laura got roped into doing a Mary Kay makeover and asked me to go along for moral support. I was feeling pretty unattractive, so I agreed. We were hoping that the makeover might help us shed that pesky belly fat, like we saw in this ad and we've been dreaming about ever since. Here is me before:

See my spare tire? Pretty bad, huh? Definitely in need of a makeover. Laura needed one just as badly. Here she is:

Afterward we found that we looked absolutely amazing. That belly fat just melted right off! So, next time you're feeling a little down about that belly fat, and wonder if there is a way to make it magically slough off, be assured that there IS. And it isn't a pink patch that will hit you hard in the pocketbook, it is a Mary Kay makeover. You'll be ready to go out on the town in no time. It only took us a couple of hours.

By the way, we had to put our own make up on! What's up with that? I felt a little let down.

Oct 9, 2008

Rambling about the Draper Running Path

Last weekend I remembered a paved path in Draper that I had forgotten about. It is called the Porter-Rockwell trail and it starts across the street from the NE corner of Draper Park. It runs SE and goes for 3.5 miles, I went 2.75 miles and only had to cross one busy street along the way, and only a couple of small neighborhood streets. It was a lot nicer than my neighborhood route, where I cross streets all the time and constantly have to look around to make sure there aren't any cars coming. It is also nice because it is about 7 feet wide, which leaves space for people to pass me even though I've got two dogs. But, the very best part of this path is that while it crosses a couple of neighborhood roads, it is not in a neighborhood, and there aren't any dogs chasing us! Dog chasing is a big problem with neighborhood running. Running just seems to attract dogs and bring out the aggression in them, and I think it is worse because I have dogs with me. I've managed to find a route where most of them are friendly, but it causes quite a delay when my dogs leashes get all tangled in their excitement. The only downside to the Draper path is that the immidiate surroundings aren't very attractive, and there were a bunch of blooming yellow bushes next to the trail that smelled horrible. But, the view of the mountains is great. I wish I had remembered about this path sooner in the season! I was able to run the 5.5 miles at an average pace of 8.45. Next year I can look back on this blog and I'll know what time I have to beat, I should be able to do it, because my neighborhood route, which is 4 miles almost exactly, I can run at an 8.20 pace. I'm looking forward to spring already!

Oct 8, 2008

Hands Off Ladies... He's MINE!

Here is Tim the first year we were dating, you can see why I fell for him, right? Sssmokin'...

Tim explains the next couple of pictures by saying that he had gotten a new camera and he was really excited to use it. This sort of thing is typical of him, and you'd think it would get old, but it doesn't. I don't know how he does it.

Tim was really into pottery in high school and made lots of awesome pots. I guess in this portrait he really wanted to show them off, but yet he couldn't resist the opportunity to goof off.

Here he is when he was little. He's got more kid pictures somewhere that I want to post at some point. He was a pretty cute kid.

This note he found in a box with a bunch of pictures and other old stuff. It was really random and we both got a kick out of it.

Oct 5, 2008

More Old Pictures

Here is me in high school with red hair, compliments of kool aide. It works better than the punky colors ever did. Just kool aide mixed with water in a really concentrated mix. It even lasted for awhile. I had to post it, because Tim maintains that this is the color I should have kept my hair forever.
Here is one of Sammy and I. I've known Sammy since 4th grade when I moved to Utah from Texas. This picture is funny because it is such a terrible picture of both of us. If I remember correctly the photographer tricked us into saying something that would make us look really dumb. Success!

Here's an envelope that Sammy custom designed for me while I lived in Vernal. My love for tigers goes back a long time.

Here is me with Carin, my oldest friend. I've known Carin since I was.. well, my mom will have to help me with specifics, but probably since I was about two. I have kept in touch with her since I moved from Texas. She drove all the way out from Texas to be at my wedding, now that's a friend.

And here is my family dog growing up Molly. Even though you can't see her face very well, wasn't she the cutest? She is the reason I keep ending up with black lab mixes. And good dogs both of 'em!

Next old pictures post I plan to do Tim's old pictures. He has some HILARIOUS ones, so you're in for a good time.

Oct 2, 2008

Being Immature RULES

Laura and I met in 4th grade and we often regress back to that level of maturity when we are around each other. Just ask our husbands. We had a teacher who was really short and very well endowed and I can remember us, probably through the time we were 18, maybe even more recently, imitating her. We'd pull our knees up to our chests inside our shirts and pull the shirts down a little to expose our huge "boobs". Then we'd start screaming stuff like, "Put your heeeeaaaadddsssss DOWN!!!!" Poor teacher. It must be terrible to deal with a bunch of kids that age. Another favorite past time of ours was to try and outdo one another in how crappy we could make ourselves look by doing things like slouching over and pushing together all of the stomach fat that we could. Oh wait. We still do that...

When I was looking for the pictures that Eric wanted, I ran across a bunch of notes and letters from Laura. Most of them were from early high school and were around the time I had just moved to Vernal. Several of them really had me cracking up. This first one was a play on The Secret Circle, writen by LJ Smith. We loved LJ Smith books when we were younger, and I still remember them fondly.

My favorite part on this envelope back is where she writes "If someone besides Tessabeth's reading this we're not lesbians, she's just my girlfriend."
Here are some pictures of us from Jr. High. I'm not really sure what we were dressing up as in the first one, but just look at Laura's pose and expression. I laugh every time I see this. Laura always had me beat in the theater department. We used to make these prank calls (daytime I remember, we were polite prankers) that required some acting skills. I didn't have and still don't have any. She would play the phantom of the opera theme song on her keyboard and a few notes in I would do this loud cackle that I was really good at. Then, she would come in with a narration about dandruff shampoo. Then, I'd start laughing hysterically and she wouldn't be able to keep her composure. I hope those people enjoyed our efforts. I wish I got pranks that cool.
And here we are both wearing a pair of her pants at the same time. Again, not sure of the point, but I guess that is why it is so funny.
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